Audio-book Guilt

As a lifelong reader, I have struggled this year as I have found myself more and more drawn to audio-books. In my current lifestyle, I drive about an hour each day, and that combined with a stressful job means that I often just don’t have the energy to dedicate to reading an actual book. However, I have been spending my commute devouring hour after hour of audio-books and I have been loving them.

But I struggle with what an audio-book actually “is”. I add these books to my Goodreads account, and technically they count towards my “books read”, but I don’t know if I am reading? Sure, what I am listening to are still books. From Angle of Repose to My Sister, The Serial Killer, I have loved getting to absorb incredibly writing and masterful storytelling through some great narrators, many of whom have added depth and understanding to these novels. Books set in places I have never been are made richer when the narrator is able to convey local accents and cadences in their performance, and as a serial “flip to the last page and figure out how the plot is resolved” reader, I have to admit that I probably appreciate mysteries and other plot twisty books more when I listen to them.

But one of the things that I think I miss the sense of meditation that reading has always brought to me. The sensation of getting up after reading an amazing story and having no idea of how much time has passed is not there. I rarely get so transported that I look around and forget where and when I am, which is a good thing since I am so often driving. I also dislike my tendency to feel like I can chill out and watch a show since I already “read” a book that day on my drive home.

Overall I am torn. I love getting to listen to stories and with my busy life, I get to “read” so many more books this way. However, the listening and reading experience is not the same and it feels like cheating to say I have read all the books I have listened too. That being said, I have a hard time looking back at books and remembering what format I read them in. If I can’t remember, does that mean that the experiences are better than I thought?

I’m not coming to any grand conclusions here. I also recognize that this is an issue because we are spoiled for choice in a world where it is so easy to access both audio-books and books, especially with smartphone apps like Libby that allow library users to enjoy the benefits of borrowing from the comfort of their homes.

I don’t hate this predicament. Books, at least in this country, are easily accessible and more people should be reading them and the fact I get to wrestle with this mean I am lucky to have this access.

I’m probably not going to stop listening to audio-books anytime soon. I am also going to continue to feel conflicted as long as there isn’t a great way to track the balance between audio and physical books in my life. I’m going to make my peace with that and leave it here for now.

What do you think?